Would you like to know if someone finds you attractive?  Or do you fancy someone and want to let them know without actually telling them?  Perhaps you want to send out the right signals to get a first date, or are ready for a relationship and want to attract someone on a night out with your friends?

Here I will provide a general overview on body language of sexual attraction between the male and female.  An interesting topic for you I hope, so hold onto your hats – it might get a little hot!

Let’s look at some of the signals in body language of sexual attraction.  Of course, it may be that the object of a person’s desire does not reciprocate the other’s feelings, and so I have noted a few warning signs to look out for where appropriate!

When Lightning Strikes

So what happens when we encounter new people?  It is well known that we make almost instant judgments when we meet someone new, and our emotional assessment is what is commonly known as ‘chemistry’. 

Chemistry can be incredibly powerful between a male and female.  It can erupt from nowhere upon first laying eyes upon someone, hitting you like a slap in the face! (Only much nicer an experience.)  This is sometimes thought to be love at first sight – a male and female who have this experience may both refer to this as ‘we both just knew straight away.' If you have experienced this bolt of lightning chemistry experience then you will certainly know about it - there is definitely no denying it!

In fact, a friend of mine (whose name and gender shall remain confidential) said that they had so much chemistry with their partner that they could hardly look each other in the eye!  It only takes about 400 milliseconds to trigger a response.  Talk about being bowled over!

If you have experienced this bolt of lightning chemistry experience then you will certainly know about it – there is definitely no denying it!  

So how do you know if someone is sexually attracted to you and are you aware of your own body language?

So if you are driven to distraction by the one you secretly admire and you can’t be doing with the sleepless nights until Valentine’s Day to make it known, then pay close attention to the object of your desire and if appropriate, make it happen! It can be very tricky being able to tell if someone is sexually attracted to you, although quite possible if you read their body language.  What follows will hopefully help you determine when there is sexual attraction between a male and female.  It is important to be aware that the speed at which the flirtation process takes place is varied dependent upon peoples' personalities.  Personality affects body language and the speed at which people interact sexually.  Extroverts are impatient and get bored more easily, whereas introverts will proceed more slowly and with caution. 

Eyes are the Window to the Soul (Apparently)

Let us firstly look at eye contact.  Eye contact can be used to convey sexual orientation.  In fact, it may not only be a lingering look, but a visual probing.  Eye contact plays a vital role in sexual attraction.  Initially, eye contact is made between two people and then one looks away.  This is because the person initiating eye contact does not want the other person to realise that they are interested in them.  And then they wait to check out of the corner of their eye as to whether the other person is interested too!  This usually happens at the outset when neither knows what the other person thinks, feels or wants – it is risky business.

When a person is more comfortable with the other (two people can feel more comfortable with each other through their senses whether or not communication has yet been made), then long and lingering looks are made by those who seek to dominate – they literally cannot take their eyes off the other person!  This may also occur at the outset and can be beyond a person’s control!

Eye contact can also be used very much to command attention.  Eyes can be quite animated, for instance, widening of the eyes to emphasize innocence or interest; or a slight squinting of the eyes which is often referred to as a ‘knowing’ look, the latter particularly so with a slight chin raise – men are good at this!  (Be careful not to confuse the ‘knowing’ look with that of the squinting ‘hate’ stare – opposite ends of the spectrum!)  For women, widening the eyes can be a good technique to use if you are sexually attracted to a man– men tend to find this very appealing and respond in a protective and nurturing manner (which of course we women adore!).  Widening the eyes is really quite a submissive act to take, and actually cries out, ‘Wow, really?  Gosh, you’re so amazing, I’m enthralled!’ or, turned to the self, ‘Please like me, look after me, I need looking after!’

It is even possible to read into a person’s eyes.  If we like something we see, our pupils dilate.  This includes when we are attracted to someone (although do bear in mind the brightness of the area you are positioned in, as bright light will cause pupils to contract).  Furthermore, we actually prefer to see dilated pupils in other people than contracted pupils.

Initiating a Conversation

The next step is to communicate verbally and not just with our bodies.  I really do feel for men on this one, as I think it is still the case that we women believe men should make the first move and it must be scary fairy stuff!  (Yet whilst I feel for them, I wouldn’t like to have to initiate!)  Whoever initiates is taking a huge risk, but can probably tell whether he or she has permission by the response he or she receives, either verbally or by way of body language, or both.)

When conversation stage is reached, it is possible for the male and female to decide whether they like each other.  The more they enjoy each other’s company, generally the longer the communication time will be, and either one or both will want to prolong conversation, even without actually verbalising their attraction for each other if it is still thought to be too much of a risk; it will be suppressed.   This can lead to pretending to talk to or ask the other person about unrelated subjects, perhaps to the extent of making a bit of a fool of yourself.  Who said it was easy?!

It may well be at communication stage where you are able to tell whether the other person is interested.  A person’s feet will tend to point in the direction they want to be.  They have an open attitude if their head, feet and torso are pointing in your direction, but beware if they are pointing away – they want to get away (although there may well be a perfectly reasonable explanation for this, of course, other than lack of desire to be with you).